Great read

Well, I recently finished a book I loved so much that I'm even telling all of you about it. I got a gift card to Chapters for my birthday from my brother Chris and his girlfriend, Tash. (One of the best parts of that gift was actually having time to myself to walk around Chapters and look at books- a rare treat these days.) This was one of the books I chose, and I felt amused pretty much from start to finish and laughed out loud at least a dozen times. (That's a lot- it feels weird to laugh out loud when you're by yourself reading...)

The author, Paula Spencer, is an easy mom to relate to. She makes parenting seem easier somehow- not so complicated. I actually felt like she lifted a huge burden off my shoulders, which was a marvelous gift at this stage in my life! It's not a book of solutions, really, just her thoughts. And they're great thoughts.

I love the subtitle of this book, which is also one of the chapter titles, "An Oreo Never Killed Anybody." Some of my other favorite chapters: "You Can Lead a Child to Carrots but You Can't Make Him Crunch, " "Happiness is a Gun and a Naked Bimbo," and " Moms Need Time-Outs More Than Kids Do." It's from this latter chapter that I just have to quote. These paragraphs summed up so much of where I'm at right now.

"It is one of the stranger paradoxes of my life that I love my kids, who require such constant tending, as much as I love to be alone.
Since I became a mother, delicious afternoons curled up with Jane Austen are mostly memories. Ditto weekends antiquing or leisurely soaks in the tub. For years, I considered it a minor victory if I managed to shut the bathroom door and pee all by myself without anyone toddling in or applauding, "You did it, Mama! I'm so proud of you!"
Rare occasions when naps and multiple playdates coincide, or when Daddyo's running errands with all tykes in tow, represent nothing short of a minivacation. Never mind that I usually squander those precious minutes emptying the dishwasher or scraping Play-Doh off the floor.
It's the greatest push-pull of a mom's life: To give her kids all the attention and juice cups they need while carving out minutes for herself. Everybody heartily recommends it. But no matter how many ways I do the math, there's simply not enough time in a typical day to give 100 percent to them, him, work, my brain, my body, the house, the laundry...
.....So why can't I (nourish myself) consistently? Because giving birth is like gaining an indelible shadow, knit fast to your feet like Peter Pan's (or to your breast, your hip, your shin, or any other appendage it can find). Young children are so demanding and needy- and yes, so fun and delicious- that separations are laced with ambivalence, even when you crave them. The struggle to find the right balance of selflessness and self usually boils down to this: How little time to ourselves can we scrape by on?"

This was a timely read for me. Thanks to Paula Spencer for the laughs and for becoming another ally on my parenting journey. (I even sent her an e-mail to thank her properly- a lifetime first for me- following through on thanking an author for a book I appreciated!)